Unhelpful

I am sure that if you’ve ever played any online game; be it a simple MUD, massive RPG, 3D Shooter, or read a Dragonlance novel, you know who Raistlin is. Hell, if you’ve been on the internet you know him. But which one of the 25,000-some Raistlins or Raistlin variations am I talking about? Is it Raistlen? How about Raisslin, or Rastlen? Maybe it’s raistlin00421@yahoo.com? It’s none of those actually.

Probably one of the most popular fantasy novel characters ever. There’s thousands of people choosing to call themselves by this name or a variation therefor of. What does it all boil down to? Elves of course. Elves and the uncreative mind of fourteen year-old boy #3532.

Popular fantasy/science fiction/fiction names being used as handles by people. Idiocy. I guess the genre of game you play, or place you hang out helps determine who is going to be the Raistlin.

Playing a fantasy role-playing game today are we? Raistlin is it?
Science fiction game? You’re Jean Luc Picard, aren’t you?
Ah, but here’s what I wanted to get to all along. There’s a new Raistlin on the block — William Wallace.

How many variations of this can you think of? So far I’ve seen Wwilliam, Will, Wwill, Willium, Willyam, Wiliam, Wilyam, and Wiilliam.

Unique naming system for games are a crime to society. I don’t want to see these dullards, let alone have to actually speak with them. The very sight of a Raistlin makes me want to lacerate someone’s face with a sharp stone.

Not that I care, but I think Electronics Arts just likes firing people — even if they aren’t paid employees. If you didn’t see that coming months ago, then you’re probably sufferring from blind faith and devotion syndrome (BFDS), which is commonly found in followers of most major religions.

I posted this update about thirty minutes ago, much to the disappointment of the creator of the site ridiculed. Now, I’m an asshole — I know this. But this was done to prove a point, that being that “personal” web-pages are really stupid. Look how easy you can be mocked! Anyhow, shortly after the update was posted, the site was taken down… However, I do not disappoint the viewers, and I have re-created it for you by using the miracle of the browser cache directory! You may read the original post below and the link now goes to the re-created page, with a spoofed cam pic by my accomplice.

This soldier of blind devotion, atrocious grammar, and an overdose of pride.

Would you pay $40 a month for webhosting for this site? I certainly wouldn’t pay $1 a month for it. For a guy nicknamed “O-Dagg”, he sure looks white to me. This is what happens when you let imbeciles use MS FrontPage (Don’t they all use that anyway?) and a pirated version of PhotoShop or PaintShop Pro.

If you haven’t experienced the full humor in this, don’t forget to read the alt-text over all the images and links. And if for some reason you found no humor in this, just making me and two other people laugh at this poor sod has made it worth the time invested.

It’s a good thing we have the wonderful internet. Adobe, JASE, do you need some more information?

On another note (vaguely in reference to the above if you clicked the link and read further), I recall a report that I heard on CNN a couple of days ago. This study found that High-School boys who watched Pro-Wrestling (Yes, that money-making farce) are more likely to “be violent” to their dates/girl-friends/wives than kids who do not watch such programming.

Comments?: Speak to the O-Dagg himself!

Here’s a little help for getting that new job you’ve always wanted!

Those funny questions on job applications? No problem — We’ve got you covered. Here’s some no-lose answers for those questions:

Well, it seems I’m about a day late. I was just thinking of how ZeroWing references makes me want to strangle fluffy white rabbits, laid out upon clean sheets. “Yeah, I’ll go post that.”, I said to myself. But to my misfortune, Delusion has already stated that below.

I will just remind you now, that such statements are not funny whatsoever.

When the FOX News weatherman says: “All your weather are belong to us!”, it’s a good time to go on a violent rampage.

Speaking of violent rampages… I’m sure you’ve noticed that there have been alot of school shootings lately. Well, obviously the problem here is too much exposure to ZeroWing. See, when you just can’t take it anymore… You go mad with rage! Single-handedly killing, over, and over, and over again. I’ll wager that this is what’s going through that child’s head: “How can they think this to be funny anymore? This joke is old! THEY MUST DIE! DIE FOR THEIR SIN!”. Although, lacking proper grammar and punctuation of course, like any child with a U.S. education.

On a lighter side, I hate you Del.

How dare you disturb the dust which collects upon Delusion’s creation, Ithaqua. You shall surely burn within the cleansing fires of… Well “Hell” doesn’t exist.