Unhelpful

Somewhen, deep in the bowels of time–my guess is the late 1950’s–a decision was made that would have serious ramifications on youth culture for generations to come.

The decision in question was what watermelon candy should taste like.

It doesn’t taste like watermelon, which I like. It tastes like itself, which I also like. I’m very hard-pressed, however, to divine the relationship between the two tastes. Watermelon candy, such as bubble gum, is one of the most potent, least sublte flavors on the candy flavor palette. Watermelon itself is a very subdued flavor. This begs the question.

My assumption is that in one of those “mad scientist” styled labs (present in 50s and 60s sci-fi, cartoons, and Ponds commercials to this day), some crazy researcher with no sleep in days and who sported outrageous hair finally finished a glowing beaker of “watermelon trial #2077″, called it finished, and changed world history as we know it. After completing the “banana” candy flavor in a mere 14 trials, he was no doubt the wunderkind of the flavor scene.

Keeping it real, so to speak.

A long, mostly pointless posting in which the author brags about having recently taken in some culture haute by seeing the comic plays “MacHomer” and “Greater Tuna”, and later bitches about the declining quality of movies as evidenced by “The Rundown” and “The Medallion”. Read more »