Unhelpful

I love the US flag. I enjoy seeing really large flags which are displayed properly, in good condition, and lit up at night as they should be. I think flag protection laws are for knee-jerking idiots who have an inadequate grasp on property law and what our flag represents as a symbol. Any publicly elected officials who propose flag protection laws should be impeached for breaking their oaths to support and defend the Constitution; the only Constitutional way to protect the flag is to amend the Constitution. Any publicly elected officials who propose a flag protection amendment should have the word “PENIS” tattooed to their forehead.

If it’s yours, and you want to burn it in protest, more power to you. If it’s mine, and you want to burn it in protest, I’ll press charges. Other than that, no harm, no foul.

One thing I’m not terribly fond of is the increasing desire to attach the flag to everything as a sort of reaction to the terrorists attacks of September 2001 in the US. A flag properly displayed and cared for is classy. A flag bumper sticker on the back of a dirty vehicle, or a tattered vinyl flag flying from the antenna of a car is tacky and crass as fuck. Of course, anyone who has a picture of Calvin urinating on a random auto emblem is probably not going to understand why this is violently retarded.

For those of you who have no fucking clue, keep decorating your SUV with flag stickers, keep buying OLD GLORY FLAG COINS (legal currency of Liberia!), and keep that stained, faded, nasty excuse for a flag whipping around the rusty pole over your front door.

For those of you who want to puke at the overcommercialism of flaggotry, and are thoroughly disgusted at the idea of flag-as-bandwagon, I present you this fine alternative:

Click, print, distribute. *

r33t.org is not responsible if a flaggot keys a car that this is displayed on, or gives you any other form of abuse. We do, however, want to hear about it.

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