Unhelpful

Is there a good off-shore or British internet bookmaking firm that takes odds on anything? I want to know the official odds on the identity of the sniper operating in the Maryland/DC/Virginia area.

Argue

Making another pointless page on livejournal.com for you and your junior high friends and stealing r33t.org’s images for your style sure is a great idea. There couldn’t possibly be enough people telling you what their current mood is and what Blink 182 song they’re currently listening to. I have one suggestion, however.

Do it right and finish the theft.

Otherwise, it might not work quite the way you intended.

Argue

[Posted in the continuation for formatting.] Read more »

Once again, pre-digeseted opinion for your consumption.

Or see the whole ugly mess.

MP3	Ogg Voorbis	RIAA	CD price gouging
politics	political parties	issues	polling as a substitute for leadership
hard liquor	blueberry syrup	sincerity	porn
fake lesbians	real lesbians	RealDoll	sex

Argue

As promised, this week’s entry. Or view the whole damn thing.

Human Nature	Scooby Doo	superhero movies	Brazil
America	Canada	Afghanistan	Sealand
gimped	Down’s Syndrome	ADD	wheelchair
Quake	Halo	Ultima Online	NetHack

Argue

I came across one of the funniest web advertisements I’ve seen, a couple of days ago. It’s humorous enough on its own, and practically begs to be modified. Whip out your Photoshop and do so:

Argue

I’ll start you off in the forum.

I realize it’s incredibly trendy (and astoundingly cliché) for internet writers with any sort of audience to ‘come out’ publicly in a teary confessional. For this, I apologize.

One can’t ‘come out’ without a story. Everyone’s story is different, even though common threads run through their fabric.

This is my ‘coming out’ story. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. Read more »

This is the first in a series of at least four updates. Those of you who’ve read Wired - regardless of whether you read it when it was a good publication that took risks or when it turned into the Style section of the Wall Street Journal - will recognize the format. Those of you who haven’t are cordially invited to figure it out anyway.

Thanks to Seros and Amanda for input.

website	weblog	‘blog’	content
r33t	sixsixfive	somethingawful	adcritic
PHP	Flash	ASP	HTML
jpeg	png	iff	png

Argue

I was going to post this into a particularly OVER-ACTIVE POST in our forum, but instead, I want to put it here. I’ll put it next to your Highlights for Children and your soggy Count Chocula Cereal for your use on all forums, great and small.[Image in the continuation for formatting.]

P.S. to my cousin Rebecca (NOBODY ELSE LOOK PLEASE, THANKS!) : Could you do me a favor and stop telling me what a great guy I am and start telling your friend Amie what a great guy I am? Thanks!

Argue

The above four quarters presented for your EDUTAINMENT.

Think of this as a continuation of an earlier post, but this time with your help.

Contribute amusing quarter designs - preferably your own - in this post’s forum link. If they’re someone else’s, be decent enough to provide a link and/or credit.

You can get templates and sources from the US Mint. You could also use mine, you ingrateful fuck.

Oh yeah, I also composed a poem for you. In crayon. You’ll have to click it to make it large enough to read, but I was courteous enough to use ‘Post Office Handwriting’ rather than my normal handwriting, so you actually can read it.

Argue

Recently, while parking at the Renaissance Center in Detroit, it occurred to me that the coolest thing about it was that it was still there…

…unlike the major skyline feature of another city which will not be named.

Meanwhile, I wish they’d either rename the Detroit Electronic Music Festival to the Detroit Trance and Techno Festival or actually focus on the broader realm of electronic music rather than focus specifically on club-friendly music. I can certainly understand if they don’t want to widen it to electro-rock acts and risk turning it into a collection of aggro metal electro fusion acts, but there’s a lot more under the sun than that, after all.

Argue

Forgiveness is an important act. Sometimes, in forgiving others, we become better people; we forgive others and free ourselves of the burden of resentment.

A lot of thought and small-point text has been devoted lately to the opposing goals of forgiveness and vengeance. I for one would like to write a few more:

I would like to officially forgive Kim Starking for sticking her tongue out at me in in Ms. Mainz’s second grade class in Mayfield Elementary. It’s fine, no need to thank me. I’m not one to hold a pointless grudge. I also would like to apologize for biting your pencil in two.

Let the healing begin.

Argue

Michigan’s governor John “Never Met A Drill He Didn’t Like” Engler submitted Michigan’s five finalist state quarter designs to the US Mint.

The winning designs are all based around the shape of the state, with or without a busy, chaotic addition of various state symbols: a classic car, the Mackinac Bridge, both, or both with four other included symbols. Personally, I’d prefer a picture of the Chrysler logo, a bailout check, an unemployment line, and the outline of Germany, but I suspect that’s a tad too divisive.

Less divisive is the issue of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. If you know any ex- or current Michiganders (I swear that’s the correct word, sadly), ask them about the Upper Peninsula at your own risk; it’s a dirty little secret we’re really not that comfortable discussing in mixed-state company. The Upper Peninsula is home to loads of wildlife, loads of mines which used to contain copper and iron, polar misery, and Canadians. Not only do they demand actual representation in our state legislature, but they actually have the unmitigated gall to threaten to secede from Michigan and form their own state - Superior. Unlike the vague independence threats issuing from Quebec (calm down, idiots, that’s part of Canada, not a state bordering Louisiana), “Superior”’s not only have insufficient popular support, but no modern precedent.

Their moose-buggering complaints have fallen on deaf ears in Lansing for good reason for a long time. I submit a sixth Michigan state quarter design to celebrate the special place that the Upper Peninsula has in the hearts of the average Michigander - 96.8% of which live in the Lower Peninsula.

Argue

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother died on March 30.

Her teeth died 32 years ago. They will be interred together.

Argue

First there was goatse.cx.

Then there was analse.cx and oralse.cx.

r33t.org proudly presents its own entry into web lexiscatological entertainment:

xbo.cx

XPerience it now before Microsoft sues us.

Argue