Unhelpful

I went to the first day of the Detroit Electronic Music Festival on Saturday. This series of impressions may not be in any logical order. I got there in the early afternoon, and wandered around without much of a schedule, as I was there to see Autechre playing at nine. In fact, every other band could have been playing ska-bluegrass polka and I’d have waited through it to get a chance to see Autechre. Read more »

According to ABCNews.com by way of Yahoo, Albanian girls are being sold into the sex trade.

Unfortunately, they’re not on ebay yet so I won’t be able to provide a review of how this arrangement is turning out.

Today’s article-thingy is about “booth babes.” Now, in case you don’t know, a “booth babe” is a girl hired to stand around in a bikini or other skimpy clothing at the booths of game companies during conventions (E3, in this case) in order to promote… uh… breasts, I guess. The reasoning is that breasts sell games. I guess when you’re talking about lonely computer geeks, it’s not that far off.

While these poor women are being ogled by a bunch of fat, sweaty losers, some people choose to take it to the next level of humiliation. There are guys who walk up to these poor women and have their picture taken. I think it’s pretty humiliating, moreso for the guys than the girls. I assume they have their picture take in order to show their friends and say, “LOOK! Here’s a girl who isn’t repulsed by my presence, you owe me a Coke!” but I may be wrong. All things considered, it’s a pretty sad scene.

Now, if I had my own game company, I would hire post-op transsexuals to be my “booth babes.” After each lonely, horny geekboy comes up to have his picture taken, I’d have the girls hand each one a card that says, “Congratulations! You have just had your picture taken with a transsexual!”

For maximum enjoyment, I would have to video tape their reactions upon reading the card, of course.

[Edit]
Someone gave me this link to illustrate what I’m talking about. Weep with me.

Comments?

Aphex Twin is apparently getting rather popular. I just noticed that his song “Blur” played over the credits of the season finale of “The Sopranos.”

No complaints here.

Background information for those outside the gaming community:

Ultima Online is a swords and sorcery online game with many different servers. On any given server, literally thousands of players can be logged in and playing concurrently. Ultima Online is a product of Electronic Arts through its Origin Systems division (now ea.com). Part of this subscription based service included “volunteer” support staff. On May 9, 2001, they were all summarily dismissesd as the volunteer program was disbanded by Electronic Arts.

This while playing tourist in the official (now ex-)Counselor channel:

{Jane_Doe} I’m not ready to give up helping those in need just yet, so I’ll probably join one of the guilds being formed.
{Counselor_3858} That is inspirational of you Jane :)
{Counselor_3858} They can pull of our robes, but they can’t pull out our hearts, right? :)

(The names have been changed for privacy.)

Allow me to translate:

“I’m not smart enough to realize when I’ve been discarded after years of being used. They can fuck us once, but they can’t stop us from begging to be fucked again!”

You’ve heard of vigilante justice? Get ready for vigilante counseling. Read more »

Not that I care, but I think Electronics Arts just likes firing people — even if they aren’t paid employees. If you didn’t see that coming months ago, then you’re probably sufferring from blind faith and devotion syndrome (BFDS), which is commonly found in followers of most major religions.

There’s been a lot of controversy recently surrounding the use of cellphones while driving. I’m against doing so. I’m also against other distractions while driving, such as eating extremely messy food, and rowdy children (for god’s sake, pull over to the side and spank them).

I’ve recently been issued a company cellphone, and decided to be fair, and try it myself to see if it’s such a distraction. Traffic was light as it always was (I leave work before rush hour starts), so I busted the thing out, and went at it.

Now, I can’t speak for all models of cellphones, but the model I have has buttons so small that it’s rather difficult to push them accurately without paying close attention to the phone, instead of the road. I was lane-drifting already and hadn’t even made a single call yet. Based on that, I’ve decided that doing so again is probably a bad idea. I’m not going to speak for everyone either, I’m sure there are people who have gotten quite adept at dialing their cellphone by touch. I’m also sure there are people who have just been damned lucky so far.

Laws against using cellphones shouldn’t be necessary. I personally am capable of determining whether or not doing so makes me an unsafe driver - it does, so I’m not going to do it. Unfortunately, I live in a world where just about everyone else thinks driving is a right, not a privilege, and following some basic safety practices is infringing on that “right” to drive.

I do have the right to put pictures of Hitler at the top of my page. I do not have the right to put others’ lives at risk.

The Mercs are an MRPG guild perhaps best known for PvP in DSO and UO, PKing in the same, and continuing to discuss who owned who in events that took place years ago by people who don’t even play the games anymore. They also have the dubious distinction of having about ten times more people “quit” TM than were ever in it. Don’t ask.

Surely this isn’t the sort of guild that exactly championed or supported the idea of role-playing. Much less online weddings. Still less out-of-game role-play.

In any event, congratulations to Lord Glenn (Balor, co-founder of The Mercs) and Lady Monica (Lady China, best known for her rabid attacks against non-TM who post on the TM messageboard - despite not being a member herself).

Which begs the question: Why is role-playing in a role-playing game bad, but having a wedding where the participants role-play that they are members of a particularly low-budget performance of A Midsummer Night’s Dream good? You want a medieval wedding? Where’s the 12 year old bride, the smell of offal in the streets, the clergy using scripture as a weapon and the disease? No, in-game and out, everyone wants the sanitized, happy, incarnation of a “medieval” setting, complete with impeccably clean clothing. I bet they ate with utensils, too.

Fortunately for all parties involved, consistency isn’t much valued anyway. I didn’t see any pictures of the party crashers who came in wearing underwear and speaking in slang threatening to kill everyone there with their “main”.

Discuss: Comments? Questions? Toasts? [dead link]

The following is an excerpt from the introduction of “DRINK: A Social History of America” by Andrew Barr. Barr has a knack for debunking a lot of what are accepted as truths about alcohol (and nonalcoholic drink) in America. This book is a heavy, well-needed dose of common sense as well as thoroughly enjoyable reading.

[Included in its entirety in the extension for your convenience.] Read more »

While watching television (or, more accurately, ignoring commercials) recently, I heard a familiar tune in the background. I checked my computer’s speakers, thinking that maybe my MP3s were playing. But no, that was not the case.

Aphex Twin’s musical piece “4” was playing on the television as the musical backing to an anti-drug commercial. I was pleasantly surprised to hear it.

What significance does this have? None, I’m just happy that there’s a commercial that uses decent music.

I posted this update about thirty minutes ago, much to the disappointment of the creator of the site ridiculed. Now, I’m an asshole — I know this. But this was done to prove a point, that being that “personal” web-pages are really stupid. Look how easy you can be mocked! Anyhow, shortly after the update was posted, the site was taken down… However, I do not disappoint the viewers, and I have re-created it for you by using the miracle of the browser cache directory! You may read the original post below and the link now goes to the re-created page, with a spoofed cam pic by my accomplice.

This soldier of blind devotion, atrocious grammar, and an overdose of pride.

Would you pay $40 a month for webhosting for this site? I certainly wouldn’t pay $1 a month for it. For a guy nicknamed “O-Dagg”, he sure looks white to me. This is what happens when you let imbeciles use MS FrontPage (Don’t they all use that anyway?) and a pirated version of PhotoShop or PaintShop Pro.

If you haven’t experienced the full humor in this, don’t forget to read the alt-text over all the images and links. And if for some reason you found no humor in this, just making me and two other people laugh at this poor sod has made it worth the time invested.

It’s a good thing we have the wonderful internet. Adobe, JASE, do you need some more information?

On another note (vaguely in reference to the above if you clicked the link and read further), I recall a report that I heard on CNN a couple of days ago. This study found that High-School boys who watched Pro-Wrestling (Yes, that money-making farce) are more likely to “be violent” to their dates/girl-friends/wives than kids who do not watch such programming.

Comments?: Speak to the O-Dagg himself!