Just call me Bob.
Date: December 27th, 2000 @ 00:00
I’m not sure how funny this is, but Ceryx seemed to get a kick out of it, so at his behest, I am posting it here.
Several days ago, at about 11 am, my cell phone started ringing. That’s pretty odd, because I only use it for outgoing calls in emergencies. I tend to get a lot of telemarketer calls, which is good, because I derive a perverse pleasure in playing with telemarketers. I know it’s their job and they don’t deserve the abuse, but I do so nonetheless. I once had a telemarketer actually call me back after I concluded a conversation with “fuck off” to say “Sir, fuck you too.” I was never prouder of a telemarketer in my life.
But I digress.
So, the phone was ringing. I answered it. I was greeted with a jovial “Hey, Bob! It’s Sal!”
Now, most people, in this situation, would simply say, “I’m sorry, sir, but you have the wrong number.” But not me. Oh, no. Not me.
Summoning up my most cheery, happy voice, I said “Yo! Sal! How goes it, buddy?”
Sal proceeded to tell me about a number of problems at the “site.” I don’t know what the “site” was, but that didn’t matter. I winged it, answering most of his questions with “Yeah” and “Uh-huh.”
At one point, he said, “Hey, Bob, you sound a little funny. You alright?”
Luckily, I’m a fast thinker. “Ah, I have a goddamn cold,” I said.
The conversation ended a few seconds later, with Sal telling me that either myself, or some fellow named “Willie” should go out to the site later. I said, “Ah, okay. I’ll send out Willie as soon as he gets in. Bye, buddy!”
About 2 hours later, my phone rang.
I assume Willie never showed up.
I didn’t pick up the phone.
My phone rang several times an hour for several hours thereafter.
In retrospect, I probably cost some folks a pretty fair amount of cash and time. I feel a little bad about it. But it’s okay, I’m sure Sal understands.
After all, he seemed like a pretty nice guy.
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