Unhelpful

Quote from the ‘Street Talk - How Do You Envision God?’ section of the Riverport Times (free publication) in St. Louis…

Lexie Korba. Student, St. Louis Community College-Meramec:

“Honestly, I don’t believe in God, but if I did I would envision a crusty heap of garbage oozing rancid sandwich dressing. It’s got little pink bunnies poking out, looking around, and it’s emanating the sound that cicadas make when they die.”

(Re-posted from 5 October due to a server relocation)

In a stunning development, the corporate handlers for the Bush and Gore campaign have formed an alliance and the two nominees now plan to run under the Bush/Gore ticket.

No word who’s getting the President billing versus the Vice President billing, we should have word after the remaining CEOs of the corporate oversight committee have voted.

After being threatened with a h4xxor attack earlier this evening, I jokingly told the would-be h4xxor that my “RAM DIMMs have jumped out of my computer and fled the room in fear.”

I must thank that would-be h4xxor, because he got me thinking.

Why not roleplay as computer equipment?

I’ll start, I will be SX-Z313-XA64, the video card with inferiority issues due to only having 8 MB of RAM in a 32 MB world.

We can roll die to determine things like transistors, die size, voltage, clock speed, memory, what bus we use, whether we’re SCSI or UDMA, and so on. It will be more fun than anything you’ve ever done before, I swear.

Before you say “That’s stupid,” or “That’s the geekiest thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” just think:

At least you’re not pretending you’re an anthropomorphic animal, a creepy aborted fetus thing, or King Xa’s’sde’ar’ade’aer’ad’a'tra’et’at’a'ytadfkaldf’adf’a'aerjau, the beautiful, immortal elf whose parents were killed by a roving gang of lesbian pirate gypsies.