Unhelpful

Step one: Graphics. Lots and lots of 3D Studio Max graphics. Movies are extra credit.

Step two: Promise them the world.

Step three: Lure legitimate sites into believing you.

Once this is done, move on to the point of this whole exercize, merchandising. Why bother creating a game at all when you can sell t-shirts and mouse pads? Sure does beat paying someone to do the hard part - you know, actually coding your game, creating artwork, pitching to a distributor, and …

…oh wait, please tell me you weren’t taking this seriously…

Discuss: Comments? (36 species of sponges can’t be wrong) [dead link]

You know, when I was about six years old in Michigan, I liked looking at my pennies. Some of them had Mr. Lincoln on them, and some had Mrs. Windsor on them.

I was sure they were married.

I bet they were pretty happy.

I like words that conjure up images and sounds. Like ’scurillous.’ That word is cool, because every time I hear it, it makes me think of a squirrel, happily eating nuts and frolicking in a grassy field filled with wildflowers.

Normally, this is where I would put in a counterpoint that is as equally disturbing as the squirrel image is idyllic. But I can’t think of anything disturbing right now.

Quote from the ‘Street Talk - How Do You Envision God?’ section of the Riverport Times (free publication) in St. Louis…

Lexie Korba. Student, St. Louis Community College-Meramec:

“Honestly, I don’t believe in God, but if I did I would envision a crusty heap of garbage oozing rancid sandwich dressing. It’s got little pink bunnies poking out, looking around, and it’s emanating the sound that cicadas make when they die.”

(Re-posted from 5 October due to a server relocation)

In a stunning development, the corporate handlers for the Bush and Gore campaign have formed an alliance and the two nominees now plan to run under the Bush/Gore ticket.

No word who’s getting the President billing versus the Vice President billing, we should have word after the remaining CEOs of the corporate oversight committee have voted.

After being threatened with a h4xxor attack earlier this evening, I jokingly told the would-be h4xxor that my “RAM DIMMs have jumped out of my computer and fled the room in fear.”

I must thank that would-be h4xxor, because he got me thinking.

Why not roleplay as computer equipment?

I’ll start, I will be SX-Z313-XA64, the video card with inferiority issues due to only having 8 MB of RAM in a 32 MB world.

We can roll die to determine things like transistors, die size, voltage, clock speed, memory, what bus we use, whether we’re SCSI or UDMA, and so on. It will be more fun than anything you’ve ever done before, I swear.

Before you say “That’s stupid,” or “That’s the geekiest thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” just think:

At least you’re not pretending you’re an anthropomorphic animal, a creepy aborted fetus thing, or King Xa’s’sde’ar’ade’aer’ad’a'tra’et’at’a'ytadfkaldf’adf’a'aerjau, the beautiful, immortal elf whose parents were killed by a roving gang of lesbian pirate gypsies.

To call the Mystere stories “child pornography” isn’t just inaccurate, it’s potentially dangerous, whether you agree with Mystere, Verant, or somewhere in between.

But don’t take my word for it, because I’m not a judge or a lawyer…

Justice Byron White is, however. Read more »

web developers = ‘pain in the ass’

It’s one thing to be a slave to the corporate machine, but to put up with the web developers they hire is another story…

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch. “Why can’t I load a 2Gb table into memory to do a simple ’search & replace’?”; “What are all these ‘^M’ characters in my HTML?”; “What do you mean I don’t have ‘root’ access on the production server?”. Blah, blah, blah.

Fuck ‘em. If I were doing the hiring they’d have a terminal and a ‘Vi’ session to prove their worth. It seems any ass with a Windoze HTML GUI can get in the doors these days, esp. if they have their green card and a PhD in Environmental Engineering from India.

Yeah, I’m a UNIX bigot - prove me otherwise…