Unhelpful

You know, funerals would be pretty cool if it weren’t for the whole death thing. It’s just like a party but with really sharp-looking black clothes.

We should have funerals for the living - they’re wasted on the dead.

There’s been a fair amount of interest from the press over my act of political satire. Fortunately, that’s all whom I’ve heard from so far, but as you know, the wheels of justice turn slowly, so if it turns out the Attorney General of Maryland doesn’t have a sense of humor (or is beholden to commercial interests), it’ll take a while to find out.

Ironically, Ralph Nader is being sued for his own bit of political parody.

The best thing that can come out of this is some scruitiny of our two major political parties which are, for all purposes, wholly owned subsidiaries of major corporations.

The worst thing that can come out of this…

Well, let’s not dwell on that.

I believe I made my point.

Someone noticed.

Political satire with edge.

Discuss: Comments? Please send me a carrot cake with a nail file in it. [dead link]

[Note: This update was written as a followup to the previous. By reading the articles without the thread, and without being familiar with the other associated threads, the additional information that is revealed in them is that the person who put his vote on ebay as a form of political protest was me. While I did get a rather alarming amount of attention from the Justice Department, the Federal Election Commission, and the Maryland Attorney General, the event passed without a dramatic outcome, fortunately. This is mostly due to the office of the Maryland Attorney General, who took this incident for exactly what it was: political protest in the form of a farce, rather than a real attempt to actually exchange money for a vote.]

eBay item 410721373 (Ends Aug-25-00 14:23:20 PDT) - Vote of One US Citizen - NO RESERVE!

Democracy has been for sale for all of the 20th century. Be sure to make your dollars count.

(Fairness in Journalism: I posted this on my own domain, too.)

Discuss: Comments? (Free for now) [dead link]

eBay item 410721373 (Ends Aug-25-00 14:23:20 PDT) - Vote of One US Citizen - NO RESERVE!

Democracy has been for sale for all of the 20th century. Be sure to make your dollars count.

There’s nothing I hate more than walking down a forgotten stretch of country road, feeling a gust of wind as a car speeds by, and watching some soulless, cocksucking motherfucker toss a spent cigarette out the window. The butt’s tumbling generally comes to a stop amongst a pile of it’s lipstick-smeared friends.

I hate these people. I’d like to grab one of these fuckers by their collars, shake them silly and scream in their eyes: “HEY DICKHEAD, YOU ARE RUINING SOME CUTE FURRY CREATURE’S HOME. NOW GO PICK IT UP AND NEVER, EVER DO IT AGAIN, OR I WILL FUCK YOUR FACE BLACK AND BLUE.”

As for those who make a habit of tossing away their cigarettes on city streets or playgrounds: COOL, ALRIGHT. May the density of your soles increase with tobacco-matter. No one gives a shit about people anyway.

Got blood desire? Secret Vampires!

In the unlikely circumstance that a mysterious, radioactive meteor impacts on the Earth, reactivates the decaying brains of the recently deceased and invokes some sort of unholy lust for human flesh in the walking dead,

I don’t want to miss out on that shit.

Vote. But only if you have a goddamn clue.

The last thing I want is a bunch of idiots watering down my vote. So if you’re going to vote for Bush because you have a soft spot for his father or Gore because you liked your Jewish friend’s mother’s cooking, just stay home.

On the other hand, if you do plan on voting, make your choice an informed choice.

Find your candidate.

My results came out as follows:

88 David McReynolds
80 Ralph Nader
72 Albert Gore Jr.
…
18 George W. Bush
17 Patrick J. Buchanan
12 Alan Keyes

I’m amused the Socialist candidate got 8 more of my points than Nader, whom I’ll actually be voting for. Don’t let the Republican/Democrat monopoly fool you, voting your conscience is never a “wasted vote” - a third party only needs 5% of the vote for nationwide ballot access and the matching funds the corporate parties consider their birthright.

had you thePocky??? i am to Tell you today about what is thinked as wonderful eat snack for all of jpn!! Pocky!!!!

any cookie is not next to compare with pocky for richness of unbelieveable certainty and delight!! pocky is flavored in shaped of sticks and coverd with layer thin cocoa or.. strawberry.. marble cocoa!

but.. never had men’s pocky {{>_<}} ...

perhaps in a market being … your “little tokyo”?? make for approval of me with purchases in pocky!!! and tell to kakori if men’s pocky is the goodness!! *^^* (W

ooooh.forgetfulness….. ^^;; pocky is glico.. glico mades culuppi!and manymany papico cocoa cream snacks of cream#!

While vigilantly manning the LumCorp IRC perimeter, someone mentioned some new content added to what was, without a doubt, the most influential and beloved UO screenshot satire site. It was, in a roundabout way, the inspiration for my own.

The Adventures of B0N3D00D and pLaTeDeWd ride again, for a final journey into the sunset.

You can read what happened or jump right to the new strips.

Discuss: Comments? Corp Por! [dead link]

Or perhaps “Buy Victory”.

If a few illiterate and combative high schoolers came to you in an IRC channel and told you they’d gladly level your Thistledown character from 30th level to 40th, and that they’d charge you a mere $450 for this service, what would your reaction be?

Note: There will be a test.

The eminently “proffessional” [sic] gentlemen at AC EXP are here to help.

If you’ll just be so kind as to e-mail them your MS Zone login ID and password, they’ll be happy to level your character for a decidedly exorbitant fee. There’s only one problem here.

If you do, you’re responsible for anything they do.

For the moment, I’ll ignore the fact that transmitting your userID and password via e-mail is idiocy. Assuming you trust these clowns in the first place, your account is available for several people to play on your behalf.

Why?

So you can be a higher level than you are now? Is the game really that hard? Are you that hard-up for ways to usefully spend your money that giving it to a bunch of cocky brats too lazy to get real employment is an acceptable option? Who am I to judge?

Hell, I just play games to have fun, what do I know? Maybe I should dedicate hundreds of dollars or 50 hour gaming weeks to “winning”. Or, perhaps, I won’t.

You know, if there’s really a market for this sort of fun-by-proxy, I expect some enterprising person to set up a videogaming sweatshop in Pusan, South Korea, and pay some kids slave labor for a day’s levelling. You can become the Kathy Lee Gifford of online gaming.

“That sure is a pretty horse. It’ll make a fine addition to our city.”

Discuss: Comments? (Note: Don’t leave your userid and password here, I don’t want them.) [dead link]