Unhelpful

I’d like to tell you about a dog. His name is Peanut. Peanut is a cocker spaniel.

Peanut has a little hobby. He likes to hunt.

Peanut’s favorite pastime is to search through dirty laundry for the soiled panties of the thirteen year old girl of the family. Peanut then proceeds to eat the crotches out of the panties.

Some religions teach that people are reincarnated in a form dictated by their behavior in this life. If this were true, I’d suspect Peanut’s previous life probably involved pedophilia…

…but if the last vision that passes before my eyes in this life is that of a cocker spaniel with dirty panties in its mouth while he wags his tail in ecstasy, I’ll consider it a big win.