Unhelpful

Just thought I’d cap “The UO Weekend from Hell” by letting you know that Asheron’s Call is still running.

Normally.

Hence, no news - though if it were UO and it were working, maybe that would be news. Read more »

I was at a friend’s house, and as we were talking, he asked if I was thirsty. I was, so I followed him into the kitchen, and watched as he poured two large glasses of Coke with ice. Not surprisingly, the drinks had a large foamy head. I was expecting him to wait patiently as it fizzled before pouring more in. I took my glass.

He then rubs the tip of his nose with his finger, and touches the foam in his glass. To my surprise, the foam in his glass dissipated at a rapid rate. As he reached for my glass, I instead took the two-liter and poured the rest myself. I learned something that day:

Next time, ask for water.

Note for those of you who’ve come here specifically to read this article: check the byline before bashing “Lum” on the web boards. Read more »

If you think the primary difference between traditional pen and paper RPGs and MRPGs has anything to do with computers, think again.

The primary difference, of course, is the players - and not just the amount of them. Read more »

Every time The Brand Formerly Known As OSI pushes back a publish, an update, or delays a feature, the inevitable war between factions breaks out. Given events as of late, it’s the closest thing to in-game factions you’re likely to see, so indulge me as I develop this a little.

Two of the factions in question are the “Negative Cynical Bastards” (in the interests of journalistic integrity, be aware that I’m a card-carrying member) and the “Revisionist Optimists”. The Realms of Lum the Mad are but a single venue for this battle: it sputters among the staff rather uneventfully, but among our readership (and that most other sites that cover UO) , it roars like a twenty-thousand acre forest fire headed straight for the expensive wooded neighborhood in a sleepy California valley.

The Optimists berate the Cynics for bashing OSI/EA breathlessly at the drop of a hat and grate their teeth whenever the slightest news is pounced upon as the breaking of the Seventh Seal, and the Cynics beat their heads in the wall wondering how many “second chances” OSI/EA gets and watch, jaw agape, OSI/EA get the cushiest soft-ball questions imaginable at UOHOC.

The Optimists listen with an understanding ear when OSI explains how simply throwing 10 more programmers at UO won’t help it any, while the Cynics remind OSI that maybe just keeping the same 10 programmers for more than six months might be helpful. The Cynics have a certain amount of sympathy for the gamer who quits his or her popular website out of frustration from having to deal with a Byzantine support system, whereas the Optimists point out that this is a fluke at worst and that the support system, on the whole, is quite good and improving.

This is the tactical angle; it’s where these two factions do their daily battle.

There’s a third important faction, though, that plays entirely on the strategic map: the Stockholders.

They’ve got their own guild, and they’ve got a brand new member. In fact, their new member is the only one specializing in the computer gaming field. Their newest member has one hell of a manifesto.

This faction has detractors, too, and they’re getting more and more vocal (read the section entitled “Our Survey Says”). I’m hearing more and more stories from the (current and ex-) Employee faction, and they make the Cynics look like Mary Poppins.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t treating employees as something other than an immediately replaceable commodity probably be in the best interests of the faction with the most to lose?

Well, wouldn’t it? Comments. [dead link]

I’d like to tell you about a dog. His name is Peanut. Peanut is a cocker spaniel.

Peanut has a little hobby. He likes to hunt.

Peanut’s favorite pastime is to search through dirty laundry for the soiled panties of the thirteen year old girl of the family. Peanut then proceeds to eat the crotches out of the panties.

Some religions teach that people are reincarnated in a form dictated by their behavior in this life. If this were true, I’d suspect Peanut’s previous life probably involved pedophilia…

…but if the last vision that passes before my eyes in this life is that of a cocker spaniel with dirty panties in its mouth while he wags his tail in ecstasy, I’ll consider it a big win.

COD’s AC magic messageboards have rules against posting spell formulae. In that spirit, I’m going to beat around the bush and not come right out and give you this latest news item; I’m going to let you figure it out.

Rumors of a new spell abound.

Someone researches it and posts about it on the boards.

The screenshot is hosted at http://l.roy.org/images/estorm.jpg.

The page http://l.roy.org/ contains the tantalizing text:

Copyright (c) 1997-8 by Lee Berger

Here’s your mission: check your documentation.

I’m still laughing.

Comments? You bet! [dead link]

The patch is out today. There’s just so much great stuff in it, that grovelling over each grain of greatness would be tedious for you, the reader. Take a look.

As you may have seen, Turbine also has an MRPG engine for use as a hired gun, much like people use the Unreal and Quake engines to build their own games. Turbine describes it as an enhanced version of the engine Asheron’s Call uses. Is this a good thing for the industry? Given the stability of the AC engine, probably. Read more »

90%:

It’s all fun and games until an 18′ tall shreth moves in next door. Read more »

Why, as gamers, do we need to constantly engage in a testosterone-fuelled battle to prove our “street cred”? Will we be looked down upon if we’re not seen to be engaging in “eXTReMe gAmIng”? Some would have you believe that their characters never die, they never miss, and they’re never defeated. They simply OWN YOU. You don’t play the “real” game. You go to Trammel to play in “Barneyland” UO. You log on to Thistledown to play “Carebear” AC. Wimp. After all, there’s only one way to play these games, and you, by god, aren’t cutting the mustard. You’re playing the wrong way. Pansy.

“Hey, it’s just the lingo!” “I didn’t make it up, I just say it because that’s what everyone else calls it.”

Just because it’s in wide use doesn’t make an insulting term any more acceptable.

You know, in this country, there was a time when it was perfectly acceptable to refer to anyone with African anscestry a “nigger”. In the some circles, it still is. Fortunately, times change, and so do people.

In AC, “Carebear” assumes that there are simply no challenges on any server other than Darktide. The same applies to EQ’s regular servers. It’s a supposition that is, at best, uninformed. More often, it’s willfully ignorant and it ensures that nobody will take you seriously except people who already agree with you. Do those who have fun playing on a regular server threaten the power structure of those who would demean them as “carebears”? If not, then what’s the point of all the bluster from the 10% of the community who plays on Darktide? If they don’t want the 90% describing Darktide as a land of idiot d3wd PKs (and I’m not saying they are), the first step toward that is not to treat the majority like they play a no-challenge game filled with ponies, daisys, and cotton candy.

Competition and challenge exists for the people who play the regular servers, it’s just channeled differently. There’s always competition when people compete for the same resources, be it in the real world or simulated worlds.

Comments! Put me in my place! [dead link]