Unhelpful

I was driving home tonight, at around the same time I always do. I know the particular highways in question very well.

I then see the most ridiculous truck I’ve seen in weeks. This beast is jacked up about two extra feet, and is sporting 24″ swamp tires. Best yet, the truck is purple. This is one of those offroad monsters that never actually sees so much as a dirt driveway, let alone any “offroading” action.

So there it is, and there I am. I’m not driving the Mustang, I’m driving an unassuming Pontiac Grand Am - not imposing in the least to a road vet.

You don’t drive a ridiculous pumped up truck like that unless you are a showoff, so I settle back down to the speed limit, ride along side him, and hatch a plan.

I fall back a few car lengths, then I push it to the floor and zoom past him, then coast… I make sure I’m looking at him when I pass him. He takes the bait! He hits his pedal and his engine roars, and I act as if I’m trying to beat him but can’t. We hit 80mph, 90mph, and eventually about 105mph…

Flashback
Remember when I said I knew these roads, and that I drive them at that time of night very often? This guy obviously didn’t know them…

So we head around a right-banking curve, I fall behind a little, and give it ONE FINAL PUSH as we head toward the hill…

…then I slam my brakes and fall back to a nice, smooth 60mph, as the Barneymobile plows over it at about 100mph or so…

…right past the police car that’s always there every night when I take that road home. They sure do hit those flashers quickly. They made a pretty pattern in the dark behind the truck as I happily cruised toward my exit.